Roger Faraday Earth's Ambassador (The Roger Faraday Series) (Volume 1) Lrg edition

Ever wonder: Why do Mogonites have to chase their guests down before a barbecue? Why are cows the most feared creatures in the galaxy? Who stole Earth?s moon? What are dogs actually thinking about? Those important questions and others are answered inside this book. The human race is on the verge of eradication and possibly the only man who stands between the deaths of billions of innocent Earthlings and their safety is a skinny young fellow dressed in a red and yellow Pizza Star uniform. After being committed (against his will - unless he wanted one of the government's special surgeons to erase portions of his memory with a little slash here and a chop there) to a government agency, Roger Faraday learned every discipline of fighting known to man, and even a few that weren't. Then he learned that if he employed any of those techniques to solve a dilemma it meant that he had probably failed his mission. He learned the customs of many alien races with whom Earthlings had been secretly doing business for decades. He learned strange little facts about our neighbors, like the fact that Glumners (a squishy little race of highly intelligent pacifist slugs) enjoyed hollowing out Earth's middle class luxury cars from the seventies and converting them into spaceships so that thousands of them could pack into them and cruise the galaxies in style. And, lastly, he learned that Earthlings were under scrutiny from the organization that ran the Universe and that if we didn't pass muster we would be annihilated. His mentor, Bloom - once a fine agent but now a bit wigged out because of post traumatic stress caused by years on the job - encouraged Roger to stop the last thing that he had learned from happening. And all of this to accomplish after finally finding the girl that might be the one.